very old soul

"When the winds of change blow, you sense the outcome ahead of others, having seen so much before. Surprises come in smaller forms to you, as in the unexpected experiences of the senses, deepening your appreciation of the physical. You want life to last so you can explore your mature understanding of existence. You have become patient with the younger souls, understanding their paths and of the challenges they face. You forgive much, often acting as mentor without pushing your beliefs upon others. You give without great expectations of receiving. Love has become the most valued concept in your universe - this life may be your quest to perfect your ability to express and receive perfect love. Thoughts of dying do not fill you with dread, as you understand death is a part of life, and life is a process of becoming... so death is a graduation, not an end. At rest, you feel at one with the universe and are grateful for your current home, Earth. Very old souls are adept at recognizing other old souls... mutual respect forms naturally between them." -facebook quizzes

Facebook knows me. It's scary how much i connect with this. it's me. and sometimes i wonder if my being young in age will cause me to be single for all of my teen and young-adult years. it's weird being stuck in a younger body when i feel so "old", for lack of a better word, well, for the purpose of my being to lazy to think of one at the moment. is there hope?

...zoom, zoom...

life is zipping by right now,
i'm finally living,
now i can't seem to find a purpose,
which direction do i go in next,
and where am i going anyway,
i can't write a poem today,
...
maybe later...
it's hard to live until the feeling's right,
and it's hard to capture when you live in the limelight.

The Queen of the Night

"I could see it every night for the rest of my life and probably still wouldn't understand it. Is the Queen of the Night a villaness or isn't she? Is she a she-demon and a witch, or is she "die sternflammende Konigin" {translation: the blazing star Queen}? The work is so fantastically confusing and contradictory that it's impossible to unravel." -Edmonde (in The Queen Of The Night)

The metaphorical dimensions in this book are absolutely astounding. It's so deep. This book is a GREAT read but it should have a disclaimer [it may be socially awkward at first]. It's only for those who can look past the surface and see a deeper meaning. The vocab is a bit demanding too. =) still, I would recommend this book to everyone who values life, but i know it can only be understood by "select few".

math class daydream

The first time we kissed,
the most breath-taking impression of softness,
lips, cheeks, back, thighs,
even with muscle your body curves, lush,
not rough or sharp.
Unlike most stories,
beginning, middle and end,
we flow,
not knowing where you end and I begin.
Your natural essence,
that inexplicable aroma,
keeps me going,
craving more.
The feel of your ribcage under my fingertips,
suhweet,
a flash of emotional connection,
followed by a blur of pure passion.
We're here, and no abyss to reach across,
save for,
the moment i look into your eyes,
like diving into the depths of a calm, cool, reflective lake.
and i wake up...everyone starring, waiting for an answer,
...uhhhh, 8?!

BAB

Blake, my love,
you make me laugh when there's nothing to even laugh about. it's like you just take oxygen and convert it into hilarious. you're blog is the perfect combination of culture, humor, personality and the beauty in truth. i don't know how you pull it off, but then again, you are the one and only Black Banana.

much ❤
T. Kozlowski

.truth.

it comes to me in a daydream,
clouds drift by,
unveiling lifetimes of memories.
the wind blows,
spirits whisper their stories flowingly,
it smells like freedom. it smells like love.
a bird flies into the bush in front of me,
she eats a small red berry, the gifts of Mother Earth,
and sings her song melodiously.
so real. so absolute.
everything just flows so harmoniously,
as I take it all in,
I conclude; I have discovered truth.
and I think to myself.
am i alone?

sometimes i wonder

hmmm...
when i see you i still get that butterfly feeling,
i'm wondering if you feel it too.
everytime i get a moment of silence and solitude,
my mind leads me back to you.
the "old times " build up inside,
but we just wern't able to make it work.
then all i want to do is hold your hand,
even if only for the friendship it's worth.
hmmm...
silently, sometimes i'd think of what "future times" might prove,
now i wonder if you feel it too.

Almost Emptyness

How can one be filled with emptyness?
I improve,
how is it that emptyness fills,
no matter how, it does.

I seemed so happy and carefree,
before i heard what you told me,
In that one instant in which you spoke,
defying logic with chaotic opposition,
my heart sank,
and drowned,
WHY?!
i screamed,
silently,
and then, with the most intense desperation,
I clung to our wonderful moments,
before the present expression of your lips,
you know, those lips that kiss cancer sticks,
my eyes welled with tears.

This is unbelieveable,
and whatnot else words that express,
me,
once an infinate happiness,
now i am told,
infinity wilt, not last forever,
decieving,
hopefilled, happy thoughts,
chicanery is your game.

We have our love,
I swear to you will last forever,
sadly though, our memories will fade,
and finally diminish,
whenever,
you go I am sure to be lost,
most macabre to imagine,
a me with you already passed,
the time between,
we must make last,
I feel as if now we must rush,
so much we haven't done.

At least I know now,
but knowledge for me be a burden,
I know not wether your words,
or none,
be better for me,
only the future can say,
while thanks to you I have confidence,
in my future,
there lay guarentee.

Everyday I desparately grasp to just say,
i love you, (so simple, and yet, so complex),
in fear that maybe soon you'll pass without my words of goodbye,
but I can't bring myself to do it,
I refuse to let you go.

True the tear you saw was only 1,
yet in spirit I cried a raging river,
as i still do,
trying to fill your "almost emptyness".

take me back to truth

waking up daily,
blah, blah, blah,

from tedious urban,
to timeless pastorial,

take me back to truth,
to nature and all the sweet simple wonders of life.

And so I say....

the world can SUCK IT!
and by it, i mean PEANESS.
the end.
=]

define edge

have you seen the edge?
the place containing an invisible line that separates me from you,
the place that determines your worth,
the place you had that the other girls just don't,
the place where you were, just one "inch" ago,
the place that borders and protects...us now,
the place where we choose to live so carelessly and free,
the place my voice went, to say how much i loved you, and run,
the place the doctors use to make the incision,
the place that it seems you've left me for, in heaven,
the place that i ended up cause i'd had enough by then,
have you seen the edge?
come closer to it.
to me.
where is the edge for you?